Tuesday, December 2, 2008

DARKTHRONE - Dark Thrones and Black Flags CD review

DARKTHRONE - Dark Thrones and Black Flags CD
Peaceville Records

There are those in the Metal media who believe themselves to be smarter than the bands they write about. I am not one of them but I read articles by those who do. They believe themselves to be opinion makers, trend setters and that if they point then the Metal community will run. DARKTHRONE has been telling those types of cretins to fuck off ever since their music career started. And just like with their F.O.A.D. release from 2007. This new one is another huge middle finger salute to all of whiners, clowns and would-be tin pot banana republic dictators out their in the Metal media. DARKTHRONE is going to do whatever the fuck they want as far as recording music. And if those bozos don't like it, can't understand or explain it away. Then tough shit, chew harder clown.

This new one sounds more Punk Rock/Hardcore (the good stuff) than the boring crap that's been pouring out of that genre for the past twenty years. And a Black Metal band shall lead the way. Straight from the opening cut “The Winds They Called the Dungeon Shaker”, I'm about to jump out of my seat and slam someone into a wall. But first I need a beer, yes a fuckin beer! That's right drinking beer and listening to the new DARKTHRONE CD. Normally you would figure people would be huddled around some circled pentagram. Not anymore because now we're knocking each other over. "Death of All Oaths" and “Hanging Out in Haiger” are also exceptional cuts that will have you flipping out, in a good way of course. That's if you are not a whiny little piece of shit.

Yeah I know there's going to be a horde of younger Black Metalheads who will contemplate falling on their cheap Made in China ceremonial daggers. So fuckin what! Remember when ENTOMBED released Wolverine Blues in 1993 and then later in 2001 they put out Morning Star? You would've thought a flood had occurred with all the water from the tears of Death Metalheads crying. Same goes with this, stop crying and enjoy it. Hey if you ain't laughing during "Hiking Metal Punks" then you are really fucked. Luckily DARKTHRONE have thrown you a bone to gnaw on with "Norway in September". Another thing even though this is not "troo" Black Metal which came out before you were born or worse when you thought Grunge was cool. DARKTHRONE are still just as cold and frost bitten sounding as ever. So deal with it people because you never know, Varg might be coming out with a gangsta rap album next year. Wow was that loud "thump" the sound of a thousand Black Metal kids keeling over in shock?


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